I Am 16 Going on 17

The Sound of Music is one of those classic movies from my childhood along with various other movies like My Girl, The Princess Bride and pretty much every Pixar movie. I can't be the only one who used to think being sixteen and "mature" was an enchanting age in the eyes of an eight year old. At the time, my eight year old self promised my future self for this song to be my verging-on-seventeen-years-old-theme-song, so seeing as it's my seventeenth birthday in a couple days I thought I would analyze the lyrics in "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" from The Sound of Music soundtrack in honor of this promise...

(Rolf)

You wait little girl

[activate impatience] 

on an empty stage

for fate to turn the light on 

[First off, nice metaphors.]

Your life little girl

is an empty page

that men will want to write on

[Secondly... that's what she said.]

(Leisl)

To wriiiiiiiiite on

I think Leisl just popped Rolf's personal bubble...

(Rolf)

You are 16 going on 17

Baby it's time to think

[I'm not a baby! I'm a young adult god damnit!]

Better beware

[of creepy dudes]

Be canny and careful

[prepare the pepper spray]

Baby you're on the brink

You are 16 going on 17

Fellows will fall in line

Eager young lads

And grueways and cads

[I've never attracted a grueway before...]

Will offer you fruit and wine

[I still can't legally drink silly!]

Totally unprepared are you

[thanks to high school for not teaching me any valuable concepts. Let me just do my taxes by figuring out the angles of these isosceles triangles]

To face a world of men

[Ouch. Sexist much?]

Timid and shy and scared are you

Of things beyond your ken

[If I didn't Google what ken means I would have assumed you meant 'beyond your kitchen']

You need someone

older and wiser

Telling you what to do

[DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!]

I am 17 going on 18

[Great, one year age difference and suddenly you're so"wise".]

I'll take care of you

[If you insist]

*Cue in the pouring rain and lightning storm to add to the cliche effect of singing to each other in the woods*

(Leisl)

I am 16 going on 17

[in approximately 44 hours]

I know that I'm naive

[Naive is Evian spelled backwards, so in the end... we're all just bottles of water...]

Fellows I meet will tell me I'm sweet

[Story of my life]

And willingly I do believe

[in fairies. I do, I do!]

I am 16 going on 17 innocent as a rose

[or so you think]

Bachelor dandies

Drinkers of brandies

What do I know of those

[more than you think]

Totally unprepared am I

to face a world of men

[and crazy dance moms!]

Timid and shy and scare am I

Of things beyond my ken

[there's that word again...]

I need someone

older and wiser

[wiser by one year]

Telling my what to do

[because Leisl can't decide for herself]

You are 17 going on 18

I'll depend on you

[Well, so much for being an independent woman...] 

*End with romantic yet adorable dancing scene in a transparent green house... At least I think it was a green house*

Concluding thoughts...

Leisl likes Nazi boys and shouldn't become a woman's rights activist.