Saturday, July 9, 2011

Fire at the Ronald McDonald House!

'*Places hand over mouth, resisting not to laugh*
"What?", Shelby said thinking she said something funny and didn't get the joke.
*Points at the microwave, Shelby turns around*

A blur of green smoke was flowing out of the microwave. It started to smell as it filled the whole half of the kitchen.

"Oh my god! Whatdowedo?! WHATDOWEDO?!", Shelby said in a panic.
"I don't know...", her friend said sounding very useful.

She opened the microwave and more smoke starts to pour out onto her face. She closed it immediately panicking. As she thinks of something to do she tell's her friend to start fanning the smoke down so the fire alarm wouldn't go off, while Shelby asks a random lady behind her who's casually cutting vegetables if she can help. All she does is look at her, then continue to cut her dinner. By now the fire alarm has gone off and Shelby tell's her friend to follow her and they start running downstairs to the office screaming, "FALSE ALARM!".'

I have no idea why I decided to write this experience in a third person perspective but it made it sound like a legit story novel that I just copy and pasted, and the main character just happens to have my name. Not a coincidence at all. This really did happen to me, and at the completely wrong time too.

I was pretty much "living" at the Denver Ronald McDonald House waiting for my second transplant. While waiting, I met a girl who shared the same interests as me and I decided to share my Harry Potter obsession with her, being the HP fan I am. We were online looking up Harry Potter related news and we came across a HP contest. Basically whoever participated in this contest had to submit a video of the contestants brewing an original potion. Whoever's potion was the best won some kind of BRILLIANT prize like meeting Ron Weasley or receiving a signed Nimbus 2000, I don't know. So that's what we decided to do... Big mistake. Our ideal potion was the ability to turn opponents wands into noodles by sprinkling our concoction over our enemies wands. All we had to do was show the camera a stick which is supposed to represent our wand, put it into a saucer, and after stirring the wand in the potion for a couple minutes it has "magically "become a noodle. We made Ramon noodles before-hand and while cooking in the microwave it started to smoke like CRAZY!

Everything turned out fine, of course I still have the guilt on my hands, and the RMH staff had to install a new microwave from storage, and my mom found out about the incident the next day. I guess after having gorgeous firemen come to disable the alarm, I don't feel as much of a disgrace anymore. Now whenever I talk about it with my parents it's a oh-those-were-great-memories-right?-conversation, while my dad's still clueless about the whole thing. Must have forgot to mention it to him...

If your wondering what went wrong when making the noodles. It's not a the-world-may-never-know-thing, it's a common sense stupid rooky mistake.

...I forgot to put water in the cup of noodles :-P

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Punching a Nurse

There are so many times I had the urge to smash a nurses face in. Like when they wake me up at three in the morning to ask me if they can take my blood pressure once again? Do I have a choice, I think not! Or when they  failed the first five times when placing an ivy into my arm! Or when they give me whole milk instead a 2% like requested. Sometimes they would sneak up on me and place a thermometer in my ear unexpectedly! Oh thanks for the warning, it's not like that's even remotely creepy!

I'm too polite to strangle a nurse in real life. I would flip them off or just immaturely stick my tongue at them when their not looking instead. I guess when I'm not conscious I literally can't control myself! When I was unconscious for a week I had a nurse who would talk to me in a baby voice. Like the voice you would talk in when you're addressing a dog.

Sane Regular Woman:
"Your such a good dog! Who's a good doggy!? Your a good doggy! WANNA A TREAT?? "

Petite Insane Medical Professional
"Oh who's a good patient! Your MY good patient! Wanna an ivy? Who wants to draw some blood!?? SHELBY DOES!"

So you could see how this would annoy anyone! Even though I wasn't awake it's not like the words flew over my skull. I guess I could still process what she was saying to me and how I felt about it. My reaction was no longer under my control once she leaned over me to fuss with the monitor. I lazily slopped my arm over and attempted to punch her in the face. I didn't miss her face but it's not like I left a black eye afterward. My parents told me it was more of a slap, but I'm satisfied with anything as long as she felt the need to leave the room. My parents tried to avoid her as many times as possible because apparently I wasn't the only one annoyed by her.

Even though my nurses can annoy the hell out of me sometimes, they have saved my life multiple times. So in that case I give all my past nurses props for cleaning the bed pans/ throw up bowls, the constant sponge baths throughout their day, and dealing with squirmy, screaming kids ALL THE TIME! I hope to become the same profession in the future, and I probably won't expect the massive amount of poop cleaned each day. Haha, okay that was too much information, but I'm glad I was able to give you the-that's-disgusting-smirk upon your face(unless your just laughing at me).