Junior Year Reflection

I'm not gonna lie, this past school year has been tough. And for once, it hasn't been hard due to heart failure or because I caught some weird, rare virus thanks to my suppressed immune system or any hospital visits for that matter, other than my quarterly cardiology appointments.

Last summer, I thought out of all the years of high school junior year was the most important. Academically, I guess that's true since it's the last year to improve your GPA before beginning to hunt for colleges. I started off the year excited, determined to increase my GPA and overall just content with my life after one of the best summers.

But everything changed...

One of the first changes of this new year was attending EVIT (East Valley Institute of Technology). I've never been to a technical school before and since I already know what I plan to do in the future; this seemed like the ideal plan for me. I'm glad I went to the EVIT orientation sophomore year because I ended up liking EVIT more than MPHS. Everyone in my Anatomy & Physiology class had at least one thing in common with me, we were all interested in the medical field and I also appreciated the fact that all the students actually cared towards their future unlike the pot heads at my high school. I think these reasons factored to why I met friends so easily there. And needless to say, we created some pretty amazing and hilarious memories.

Whether it was in the classroom,

During the dissection labs, 

(Yes, those are ventricles in my portraying heart of love)

Or competing to win the bad ass title of "Medical Terminology Winners",

And field trips to the Cadaver Lab at Grand Canyon University,

Needless to say I enjoyed EVIT much more than I enjoyed being at my regular high school. But it's not like life at Mountain Pointe wasn't bad either... well at least when I decided I was actually going to go to school. I would say my favorited days were the spirit days.

Nerd Day!

"What the Heck" Day

Western Day!

Hawaiian Day!

I won't even mention my horrid attendance for this year, besides stating that this year is my personal record for most consecutive absences and unexcused/ excused tardies. It's not something I'm proud of but  considering I ended off with good grades, I say that's more of an accomplishment.

And then there was everything in between.

An obviously very productive golf season...

The awesome parties.

Homecoming with my best buds!

Another memorable year at Camp Del Corazon...

Being crowned Miss. EVIT for the PM session!

Fangirling over the cast of Harry Potter during Spring Break...

And ending off the year with Prom!

I won't say this has been my favorite year because honestly, this year has been particularly hard on me. There is so much more that happened this year than what I can actually blog about but, I think there's less gained when just focusing on the negatives of every year that passes by. Even though the negatives are so much more easier to focus on, my goal for my next and final year of high school is to A.)

And B.)

Summer is now half way over and pretty much all I've done is focus on online school. I guess that's a good thing but it just get's so boring and after awhile, unproductive. That one word just describes how my summer has been. Boring. So next week, I believe is the last week of online summer school. As of next week is the first day of summer and I intend on making it kick ass before it ends.

I Am 16 Going on 17

The Sound of Music is one of those classic movies from my childhood along with various other movies like My Girl, The Princess Bride and pretty much every Pixar movie. I can't be the only one who used to think being sixteen and "mature" was an enchanting age in the eyes of an eight year old. At the time, my eight year old self promised my future self for this song to be my verging-on-seventeen-years-old-theme-song, so seeing as it's my seventeenth birthday in a couple days I thought I would analyze the lyrics in "Sixteen Going On Seventeen" from The Sound of Music soundtrack in honor of this promise...

(Rolf)

You wait little girl

[activate impatience] 

on an empty stage

for fate to turn the light on 

[First off, nice metaphors.]

Your life little girl

is an empty page

that men will want to write on

[Secondly... that's what she said.]

(Leisl)

To wriiiiiiiiite on

I think Leisl just popped Rolf's personal bubble...

(Rolf)

You are 16 going on 17

Baby it's time to think

[I'm not a baby! I'm a young adult god damnit!]

Better beware

[of creepy dudes]

Be canny and careful

[prepare the pepper spray]

Baby you're on the brink

You are 16 going on 17

Fellows will fall in line

Eager young lads

And grueways and cads

[I've never attracted a grueway before...]

Will offer you fruit and wine

[I still can't legally drink silly!]

Totally unprepared are you

[thanks to high school for not teaching me any valuable concepts. Let me just do my taxes by figuring out the angles of these isosceles triangles]

To face a world of men

[Ouch. Sexist much?]

Timid and shy and scared are you

Of things beyond your ken

[If I didn't Google what ken means I would have assumed you meant 'beyond your kitchen']

You need someone

older and wiser

Telling you what to do

[DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!]

I am 17 going on 18

[Great, one year age difference and suddenly you're so"wise".]

I'll take care of you

[If you insist]

*Cue in the pouring rain and lightning storm to add to the cliche effect of singing to each other in the woods*

(Leisl)

I am 16 going on 17

[in approximately 44 hours]

I know that I'm naive

[Naive is Evian spelled backwards, so in the end... we're all just bottles of water...]

Fellows I meet will tell me I'm sweet

[Story of my life]

And willingly I do believe

[in fairies. I do, I do!]

I am 16 going on 17 innocent as a rose

[or so you think]

Bachelor dandies

Drinkers of brandies

What do I know of those

[more than you think]

Totally unprepared am I

to face a world of men

[and crazy dance moms!]

Timid and shy and scare am I

Of things beyond my ken

[there's that word again...]

I need someone

older and wiser

[wiser by one year]

Telling my what to do

[because Leisl can't decide for herself]

You are 17 going on 18

I'll depend on you

[Well, so much for being an independent woman...] 

*End with romantic yet adorable dancing scene in a transparent green house... At least I think it was a green house*

Concluding thoughts...

Leisl likes Nazi boys and shouldn't become a woman's rights activist.

A Night in Emerald City

Last Saturday, I attended my high school's prom. I for one particularly loved the theme, "A Night in Emerald City" since I never get tired of watching Wizard of Oz and I could probably quote the entire movie by heart.

Beforehand, one of my dude friend's asked me to go with him as friends. Prom is still fun even if you're just going with friends but it's even better when you have a date so of course I said yes! I may add, my dude friend moved to Oregon after I met him so he literally flew down from Oregon just to go to Prom.

The day of Prom started when I went to my salon appointment to be have my nails, hair and makeup done.

Total Pamperage.

Immediately after my appointment, my chauffeur (my parents) drove me to pick up my date to take pictures with my friends.

Leading to another photo shoot with a completely different group of friends.

Once we were done being FaBuLoUs and such we carpooled together to dinner. Instead of dining together, my date and I ate solo and went to Benihana. For those of you who haven't been to Benihana before, it's like dinner and a show! We were seated with six other people (two of which were also going to Prom) and the chefs literally cook your food in front of you while twirling spatulas in one hand and lighting things on fire while doing cartwheels...

Dinner took a little longer than expected so we showed up to Prom fashionably late. Prom was held at The Castle at Ashley Manor.

Super fancy.

I was afraid I was going to end up a lost, awkward penguin sitting by myself after giving up on finding anyone I know, but oh no, no that was not the case! I spotted friends almost immediately and I seemed to know someone every where I went!

The dance floor was crowded, sweaty and hot! I think I entered the middle of the dance floor once of twice but left due to the fear of being butt raped... Yeah, I stayed mostly near the outskirts of the dance floor or outside.

I'm also pretty sure I scared several people with my sweet moves. I even recall accidentally slapping someone in the face when attempting my sprinkler... I can't help it! If my jam starts playing, I just can't control myself (and I have a lot of jams).

Oh, and there were fireworks.

By the end of the night, my date and I were ready to pass out! Surprisingly, we even left early! Even bigger of a surprise, when we returned home my family built us a tent-- nay my family built us a FORTRESS to sleep in.

How do you end prom night? Watch Harry Potter, what else?

"Shelby Cooper: Three of Hearts" Documentary

I think it was about Mid-March when I was friend request and messaged by a guy who went to my school about the possibility of producing a documentary about me and my life as a double heart transplant recipient. He told me he's an independent filmmaker and he stumbled upon my blog and found my story inspiring enough to make into a documentary. I was astounded for one, my life is as ordinary and normal as everybody else's (but my past sure isn't!) and second, I've always wanted to raise awareness for organ donation and heart disease through a video production which is exactly what we did!

We first met up to outline what the documentary would be about. I had oodles of ideas but the hard part was deciding what the main focus of the film was going to be about. I was thinking of aiming it towards awaiting or struggling heart transplant recipients to simply conceive the message my blog embody's; you're not alone and there is life after transplant. On the other hand, there are so many uneducated people out there about organ donation or heart disease and this would be a great opportunity to share some enlightenment on the subject. But then when I think about my past with bullies and how I used to be known as the weird girl with a scar or who spent time in the hospital, I really wanted to change their perspective.

After it was all finalized, I think we managed to exemplify all these factors into one fabulous documentary and we entered it into a local film festival and what do you know? We won the title, "Best Technical Expertise"! Now, I'm finally sharing with you the film-festival cut of our documentary, "Three of Hearts". We had thirty minutes of solid footage which was edited down to five minutes for the festival requirements so there may be an extended version available later.

For now, check it out here on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPWnFkb98_M

Please share this with your friends, family or whoever. I'm not asking for personal publicity or attention, I just want to spread the word and break the stereotype!

My Modeling Dilemma: The Final Chapter

At the beginning of every year, I like to list new goals and aspirations for the new year. So traditionally, I did so to begin off 2013. One of my goals was to "Become a Model". I'm tall, I'm slender, pretty photogenic and almost everyone I know suggested it to me so I was confident I would be successful in this area. On the other hand, modeling is a very superficial industry and I am the least superficial person. I'm very caring and empathetic towards other people and most of the time I put my friends and family before myself (most of the time ;). I'm comfortable with the way I look but my self esteem can fluctuate by simple comments.

In the end of January, I went to my first modeling interview with a local agency. Without getting too far into detail, I'll just say it was very hypercritical and by the end I was ready to hide under the covers and cry. The only thing I learned out of this interview is how much I really DO NOT want to model. Sure, it would be fabulous to be fashionable all the time and somehow bring awareness towards organ donation and heart disease but on the flip side, I would also be under graded all the time and I would never feel good enough.

I just bragged about how comfortable I am in my own skin. It sounds a bit hypocritical of me to say that when I hardly leave the house not wearing makeup. I can change myself but I can't change how evilly judgmental the outside world is. Modeling just takes judgment to a whole new level and I rather be happy to be who I am than be degraded all the time.

A couple weeks after the interview I had an idea to revolutionize the modeling industry by giving everyone a chance, including the underdog's, to become a model by creating my own modeling agency. Unlike, your everyday fashion magazine it would focus more on awareness campaign's that deserve its lime light. However, I'm sixteen and I know absolutely nothing about the industry or how to even run an agency. It's a good idea but I'm not interested in running my own business. If it's still something I wish to achieve,  maybe in the far future.

I have now come to my final conclusion:

I'm sure if I was persistent and had enough ambition towards modeling, I would be successful in the field. However, modeling just isn't what I want to pursue in, not to mention it's the complete opposite of who I am.    There's a reason I go to a technical school dissecting brains and not an acting school strutting the runway. I rather pursue as a nurse than a model and to be honest, I have more respect for the ladies in scrubs than the ladies in heels.

Besides, I don't need 6 in. heels to be an individualist. My scar gives me enough individuality.

Guess I'll just be a self employed narcissist, oh well.

I love it when my scar is visible in pictures :)

Blood Pressure of an Eighty Year Old Man

Today, I thought I would list as many awkward moments, embarrassing accounts,  inconveniences or just "good times" I've experienced throughout my life as a heart transplant patient. Maybe some of you can relate to me whether you're a transplant patient, a heart disease patient or you're just completely "normal" and some of my encounters has happened to you at your yearly check up... or employment screening. Psh, I don't know what normal people go to the doctor for...

1. One time I went to my pediatric clinic for one of those regular check up's and I was forced into a paper gown. After I changed into the gown, we waited for my pediatrician... and waited, and waited and after what felt like an hour he finally entered. He told me to stand up so he can thoroughly examine me. I casually stood up, looked behind me and there was a puddle of blood on the exam table.

I got my period while waiting on my doctor. Great... On the bright side, I got to keep the gown.

2. Sometimes when I tell people about my transplant their reaction is to relate it to something that it irrelevant. I don't know why people do this, maybe it's to make me feel better? Maybe it's to be empathetic? Either way, every time this happens it begins to get uncomfortable and quite awkward...

Me: "I've had two heart transplants"
"Wow, I've had... the flu"
Me: "Oh... glad you survived?"

3. Whenever I'm getting my vitals taken at a regular cardiology appointment my blood pressure decides to sky rocket. The normal blood pressure rate is 120/ 80 so when a nurse see's a blood pressure of 164/ 96 from a 16 year old they become baffled and take my blood pressure at least five more times on each arm and leg...

4. When people mistake my scar for cleavage...

5. When specifically men ask about my scar, I tell them what happened and there's a brief awkward silence leading to me being reassured they were admiring my necklace and NOT staring at my chest.

6. Reactions when I tell my family I'm going in for a procedure/ surgery:

- Good Luck
- Bless your soul child
- Get well soon
- You're in my thoughts and prayers

Reactions when I tell my friends I'm going in for a procedure/ surgery:

- What if the surgeon leaves the scalpel inside you after your sown up?
- What's your computer password in case you die?
- Am I in your will?
- Can I have some of your blood? O__O

7. Occasionally I will get the slightest chest pain and freak out for a second and begin to think, "Oh no, don't fail me now heart!"

8. After I tell people about my two heart transplants they become fascinated about the subject which I love because it means their curious so I'm happy to enlighten anybody about the heart, heart disease, or organ donation. But when it get's to the point where someone is lacking pretty common knowledge it get's extraordinarily frustrating to dumb medical terms down for any doorknob to understand.

9. Mosquito bites on my scar. Almost as bad as a mosquito bite under your knee, on the excess skin on your elbow or behind your ear...

10. Believe it or not but many people have accused me of making up my transplant story for attention. It's even worse when I get these oblivious comments from teachers and security guards...

11. If I'm not "seeking attention" than I'm apparently negligent. I don't brag about my condition for one reason; to avoid the questions. I'm happy to answer questions just... not the stupid ones like, "Were you awake during the surgery?", "When is your next transplant?", "Did it hurt?", "When will you die?"

I don't know, when will you going to die??

12.  Milking the heart transplant card to get out of something (usually at school)... Sometimes I'm thankful for my condition.

You know you would too.

13. When I was about eleven years old, I was once again unconscious in ICU. Someone else must have been controlling my brain and coordination because I ended up punching a nurse in the face. According to my parental's, apparently she was quite annoying and deserved it.

14. Sometimes when people ask me about my scar I make up ridiculous stories like "Oh, I got attacked by a bear" or "I just got bit by a shark". I had heart surgery you doofus, what else could it be from?

15. Portable Heart Monitors. Almost just as bad as the actual surgery itself.

16. When a nurse blames my veins after her third attempt at an ivy -_-

17. I have a scar from a drainage tube from when I was a baby. It's close to my bellybutton and it caves in like one. I love to tell people it's my second bellybutton and most of the time they believe me and think it's the coolest thing ever... until they ask me if I can have kids... than I don't know really know how to respond.

18. You know you've stayed in the hospital long enough when you're better at unhooking yourself from the heart monitor than your nurse...

19. I used to be in love with the song, "Damaged" by Danity Kane in middle school along with every other girl in my chorus class. I thought it was just a super catchy heart break song at the time but after listening to it again recently I realized all the heart break metaphors sound more like transplant metaphors...

Here's a snipit of the lyrics:

Do, do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound? Tell me
Are, are, are you, are you patient, understanding?
'Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I

I tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me
Baby, baby this situation's driving me crazy
And I really wanna be your lady
But the one before you left me so

Damaged, damaged, damaged, damagedI thought that I should let you knowThat my heart is damaged, damaged, damaged, damagedAnd you blame the one beforeSo how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?

... I had no taste in music back then.

20. Having to throw away stuffed animals due to massive blood stains from inside the operating room :(

R.I.P. Mr. Snuggles

21. Offered the health pass at Disneyland to buzz by all the long lines for almost every ride! Woot woot!

There are many, many more instances but it's getting late and I should probably wrap it up. Hopefully it was relative or at least, fun to read. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! Good-night peaches <3

Liebster Award

I'll be honest, the third quarter of school was not my most shining moment. I lost all motivation to focus on school and I hardly focused on activities outside of school like skating. I guess I'm just ready for high school to be over already so I can move forward on a different journey: college. Although, while I'm still in high school I think I can do more than just survive the last nine weeks of Junior year.

But, this post is not about school or finding my mojo, instead I wanted to share the Liebster Award. The concept of the Liebster Award is to nominate a few outstanding blogs with an inspirational message and brings a positive change to the world. I'm honored to be nominated by one of my friend's from camp and now it is my turn to continue the Liebster chain by nominating my idea of outstanding blogs.

Here's how it works:

• If you're nominated please copy and paste these questions onto you're blog and answer them. 
• Nominate 3-5 blogs you love to read minus the person who nominated you. 
• Notify your nominees and provide a link back to your post.
• Post the link on their blog on a post.
• When you make your own post, you must create an eleven question questionnaire for the nominees to answer on their blog.

Here are the questions I was asked to answer:

1. What made you want to start a blog?
I think once I realized how much I enjoyed writing is when I decided a blog would be perfect for me. The idea of helping teens with undergoing heart transplant or heart disease was inspired by my friend, Becca. Her blog is always fun to read and the concept of her blog is so original that I wanted to provide a sense of inspiration in my own way.
2. How long have you been blogging for?
May 14, 2011 marks the day I first posted on TeenageHeartTransplant.
3.What is one thing you would change about this world if you could?
I don't think I can thoroughly answer this. Either because it's too complex or offensive (not racist or sexist).
4. Who in your life inspired you or helps motivate you to keep going?
That's easy, my dad. He's like my best friend and I can almost tell him anything. He knows me better than anyone and he can pick me up, brush me off and keep me going strong.  He's taught me good from bad, taught me acceptance, perseverance and keeps me in reality. He knows I'm just a teenager and doesn't constraint grand expectations upon me and is just proud of me for what I have done, what I want to do and will be there for me through my success and failures. Whether it's tying my shoes, reminding me about my med's, giving me a ride to a friend's house or replacing a light bulb I know he'll always be there for me and I don't know what I would do without him.
5. What is one misconception about the topic you write about that you'd like to clear up?
When I first tell someone about my transplant they begin to emit a splurge of questions and I almost always get asked, "When will you die?" or something along those lines. Many people are misunderstood about the lifespan of a transplant recipient. They think just because my heart isn't the heart I was born with immediately decreases my life. I respond by asking them, "When will you die?". Transplanted or not, there isn't much difference. No one knows when their going to die, like everyone else, my heart can't just give out (apart from old age). There has to be a diagnosis to why death has occurred.
6. How has running a blog changed your life?
The biggest change my blog has had on me is the impact it has had on other transplant teens. I find it crazy when someone contacts me just to tell me how much my blog has given them hope. I'm just in my bedroom, on my bed writing about whatever I please and hopefully whatever is going on in my life enthuses my readers to continue reading.

Basically,

7. If someone were to ask you what you hope to accomplish with your blog, what would you tell them?
The biggest goal of mine is for someone waiting for a transplant or someone who has never met another teen with a transplant to come across my blog and feel not so alone, or be able to relate to someone, or be given hope that there is life after transplant. That, and educating the public about organ donation and heart disease.
8. Can you be found on Twitter for your readers to follow?
The best decisions I've made is to erase soda from my diet and delete my Twitter account, so no.
9. What is your favorite color?
I don't know, you tell me?

I think it's green.
10. Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla ice cream? 
Strawberry
11. Pepsi or Coke?
Shirley Temple

My Nominations:

My2ndHeartBeat
2nd chance @ life?
Girlfriend's Guide to Heart Transplants

Continue the Liebster chain guise! I don't even know you and I love you... will you be my master?

 My questionnaire to my nominees:
1. Do you ever participate in fundraisers for your cause?
2. How would you describe yourself in one word?
3. What advice would you give new bloggers?
4. Would you ever consider writing a book?
5. Do you vlog (via Youtube)? If so, what is your Youtube name?
6. How would you describe your blog to someone who hasn't read it before?
7. Is blogging a past time you would like to continue long term?
8. What do you like to do in your free time? Hobbies? Sports?
9. What is your dream job/ occupation?
10. Do you feel like your blog has influenced others?
11. If you could choose one famous person to endorse your blog who would it be?

Not pertaining to the Liebster Award...

I went tanning for the first time since summer and it was amazing! I'm definitely ready for the sunshine and winter to end. Not just because I'm transparently pale but I get sick more often and my acne is 10x worse than in the summer. And I'm just ready for swimsuits, shopping for summer clothes, sunglasses, sleeping in, writing in peace, watermelon season, ice cream, bike rides, camping, boating trips, water parks, golfing and picnics.

Yay for Snapchat!

I'm definitely a sun kissed babe!

My Modeling Dilemma Part 2: Dinosaurs and Unicorns

My dilemma with modeling is figuratively a love-hate concept.

Optimistic outlook on modeling:

A tyrannosaurus rex evolving into a unicorn is metaphorically me trying to become a model. Although I am skinny, tall and photogenic, I am also extinguished in several scars. It's nothing I'm ashamed of, because my dead skin cells represent who I am, what I've conquered and pretty much what I'm all about. My pride and my scars put me at a disadvantage because I don't meet the right "image" criteria. If a dinosaur can transform into a unicorn than that would be pretty impressive just like how someone with an oddity signs a modeling contract for who they are would be even more of an accomplishment; which is why I haven't given up.

[closest thing I could find to a unisaur]

Pessimistic outlook on modeling:

I'm sick and tired of looking in a magazine and seeing the same prototype model over and over. The image of a perfect body and a flawless face has been reused so many times. There's no such thing as perfect and this industry has twisted the idea of beauty turned has it into something nonexistent. This "beauty" overwhelms girls like me feeling like they haven't got a chance or their left feeling ugly. I don't want to model if I'm not accepted for who I am and formulated into another clone.

Get it? Cause it's clones... of evil robots... except one is especially more evil... it's imagery you fools!

 After thinking about what I'm about to jump into more, an idea of brilliance had presented itself...

Let's say I don't find an agency that isn't prejudice and genuinely accepting. It's sad to think there isn't an agency out there that's willing to market someone for their unique qualities, although, I think if I can't find an unorthodox agency I should create one.

"Real World Modeling Agency" (still working on the title) would accept all kinds of individuals interested in modeling with any disadvantage. Whether it's an ostentatious scar, a wheelchair or simply not a size 1! We're the ones with a lowered self esteem, we're the ones who have been told we're not beautiful by someone who can't even define the subject, and we're the ones who are never good enough. I think anyone could model if their really committed but like I said, I'm sick of the same prototype.

We see enough advertisements about hair, makeup and fashion but what about awareness campaigns? Our modeling agency would be thoroughly based off of donations to give these models a chance to achieve something their really passionate about. We would provide the type of model to a non profit organization or foundation, what society should be paying more attention to and care about, at no cost to the client.

Cell phones while driving

Breast Cancer Pink Ribbon

Teen Suicide Prevention

Let's say Donate Life America wants to raise awareness for Heart Month but doesn't have the funds to do so. By contacting us, we provide a model to whatever theme they want to address to little to no cost to them. The model however would still be paid by money donated to our agency and in the end Heart Month would get its publicity.

There are two positive aspects to this idea:
1.) It gives the dinosaurs a chance to become unicorns in the modeling world
2.) It targets subject matter and topics that deserve it's limelight

We'll see how my own modeling career kicks off but if it doesn't, this is something I'm seriously going to consider doing!

Sincerely,

The Unisaur