My Modeling Dilemma: The Final Chapter

At the beginning of every year, I like to list new goals and aspirations for the new year. So traditionally, I did so to begin off 2013. One of my goals was to "Become a Model". I'm tall, I'm slender, pretty photogenic and almost everyone I know suggested it to me so I was confident I would be successful in this area. On the other hand, modeling is a very superficial industry and I am the least superficial person. I'm very caring and empathetic towards other people and most of the time I put my friends and family before myself (most of the time ;). I'm comfortable with the way I look but my self esteem can fluctuate by simple comments.

In the end of January, I went to my first modeling interview with a local agency. Without getting too far into detail, I'll just say it was very hypercritical and by the end I was ready to hide under the covers and cry. The only thing I learned out of this interview is how much I really DO NOT want to model. Sure, it would be fabulous to be fashionable all the time and somehow bring awareness towards organ donation and heart disease but on the flip side, I would also be under graded all the time and I would never feel good enough.

I just bragged about how comfortable I am in my own skin. It sounds a bit hypocritical of me to say that when I hardly leave the house not wearing makeup. I can change myself but I can't change how evilly judgmental the outside world is. Modeling just takes judgment to a whole new level and I rather be happy to be who I am than be degraded all the time.

A couple weeks after the interview I had an idea to revolutionize the modeling industry by giving everyone a chance, including the underdog's, to become a model by creating my own modeling agency. Unlike, your everyday fashion magazine it would focus more on awareness campaign's that deserve its lime light. However, I'm sixteen and I know absolutely nothing about the industry or how to even run an agency. It's a good idea but I'm not interested in running my own business. If it's still something I wish to achieve,  maybe in the far future.

I have now come to my final conclusion:

I'm sure if I was persistent and had enough ambition towards modeling, I would be successful in the field. However, modeling just isn't what I want to pursue in, not to mention it's the complete opposite of who I am.    There's a reason I go to a technical school dissecting brains and not an acting school strutting the runway. I rather pursue as a nurse than a model and to be honest, I have more respect for the ladies in scrubs than the ladies in heels.

Besides, I don't need 6 in. heels to be an individualist. My scar gives me enough individuality.

Guess I'll just be a self employed narcissist, oh well.

I love it when my scar is visible in pictures :)

Blood Pressure of an Eighty Year Old Man

Today, I thought I would list as many awkward moments, embarrassing accounts,  inconveniences or just "good times" I've experienced throughout my life as a heart transplant patient. Maybe some of you can relate to me whether you're a transplant patient, a heart disease patient or you're just completely "normal" and some of my encounters has happened to you at your yearly check up... or employment screening. Psh, I don't know what normal people go to the doctor for...

1. One time I went to my pediatric clinic for one of those regular check up's and I was forced into a paper gown. After I changed into the gown, we waited for my pediatrician... and waited, and waited and after what felt like an hour he finally entered. He told me to stand up so he can thoroughly examine me. I casually stood up, looked behind me and there was a puddle of blood on the exam table.

I got my period while waiting on my doctor. Great... On the bright side, I got to keep the gown.

2. Sometimes when I tell people about my transplant their reaction is to relate it to something that it irrelevant. I don't know why people do this, maybe it's to make me feel better? Maybe it's to be empathetic? Either way, every time this happens it begins to get uncomfortable and quite awkward...

Me: "I've had two heart transplants"
"Wow, I've had... the flu"
Me: "Oh... glad you survived?"

3. Whenever I'm getting my vitals taken at a regular cardiology appointment my blood pressure decides to sky rocket. The normal blood pressure rate is 120/ 80 so when a nurse see's a blood pressure of 164/ 96 from a 16 year old they become baffled and take my blood pressure at least five more times on each arm and leg...

4. When people mistake my scar for cleavage...

5. When specifically men ask about my scar, I tell them what happened and there's a brief awkward silence leading to me being reassured they were admiring my necklace and NOT staring at my chest.

6. Reactions when I tell my family I'm going in for a procedure/ surgery:

- Good Luck
- Bless your soul child
- Get well soon
- You're in my thoughts and prayers

Reactions when I tell my friends I'm going in for a procedure/ surgery:

- What if the surgeon leaves the scalpel inside you after your sown up?
- What's your computer password in case you die?
- Am I in your will?
- Can I have some of your blood? O__O

7. Occasionally I will get the slightest chest pain and freak out for a second and begin to think, "Oh no, don't fail me now heart!"

8. After I tell people about my two heart transplants they become fascinated about the subject which I love because it means their curious so I'm happy to enlighten anybody about the heart, heart disease, or organ donation. But when it get's to the point where someone is lacking pretty common knowledge it get's extraordinarily frustrating to dumb medical terms down for any doorknob to understand.

9. Mosquito bites on my scar. Almost as bad as a mosquito bite under your knee, on the excess skin on your elbow or behind your ear...

10. Believe it or not but many people have accused me of making up my transplant story for attention. It's even worse when I get these oblivious comments from teachers and security guards...

11. If I'm not "seeking attention" than I'm apparently negligent. I don't brag about my condition for one reason; to avoid the questions. I'm happy to answer questions just... not the stupid ones like, "Were you awake during the surgery?", "When is your next transplant?", "Did it hurt?", "When will you die?"

I don't know, when will you going to die??

12.  Milking the heart transplant card to get out of something (usually at school)... Sometimes I'm thankful for my condition.

You know you would too.

13. When I was about eleven years old, I was once again unconscious in ICU. Someone else must have been controlling my brain and coordination because I ended up punching a nurse in the face. According to my parental's, apparently she was quite annoying and deserved it.

14. Sometimes when people ask me about my scar I make up ridiculous stories like "Oh, I got attacked by a bear" or "I just got bit by a shark". I had heart surgery you doofus, what else could it be from?

15. Portable Heart Monitors. Almost just as bad as the actual surgery itself.

16. When a nurse blames my veins after her third attempt at an ivy -_-

17. I have a scar from a drainage tube from when I was a baby. It's close to my bellybutton and it caves in like one. I love to tell people it's my second bellybutton and most of the time they believe me and think it's the coolest thing ever... until they ask me if I can have kids... than I don't know really know how to respond.

18. You know you've stayed in the hospital long enough when you're better at unhooking yourself from the heart monitor than your nurse...

19. I used to be in love with the song, "Damaged" by Danity Kane in middle school along with every other girl in my chorus class. I thought it was just a super catchy heart break song at the time but after listening to it again recently I realized all the heart break metaphors sound more like transplant metaphors...

Here's a snipit of the lyrics:

Do, do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound? Tell me
Are, are, are you, are you patient, understanding?
'Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I

I tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me
Baby, baby this situation's driving me crazy
And I really wanna be your lady
But the one before you left me so

Damaged, damaged, damaged, damagedI thought that I should let you knowThat my heart is damaged, damaged, damaged, damagedAnd you blame the one beforeSo how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?

... I had no taste in music back then.

20. Having to throw away stuffed animals due to massive blood stains from inside the operating room :(

R.I.P. Mr. Snuggles

21. Offered the health pass at Disneyland to buzz by all the long lines for almost every ride! Woot woot!

There are many, many more instances but it's getting late and I should probably wrap it up. Hopefully it was relative or at least, fun to read. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday! Good-night peaches <3

Liebster Award

I'll be honest, the third quarter of school was not my most shining moment. I lost all motivation to focus on school and I hardly focused on activities outside of school like skating. I guess I'm just ready for high school to be over already so I can move forward on a different journey: college. Although, while I'm still in high school I think I can do more than just survive the last nine weeks of Junior year.

But, this post is not about school or finding my mojo, instead I wanted to share the Liebster Award. The concept of the Liebster Award is to nominate a few outstanding blogs with an inspirational message and brings a positive change to the world. I'm honored to be nominated by one of my friend's from camp and now it is my turn to continue the Liebster chain by nominating my idea of outstanding blogs.

Here's how it works:

• If you're nominated please copy and paste these questions onto you're blog and answer them. 
• Nominate 3-5 blogs you love to read minus the person who nominated you. 
• Notify your nominees and provide a link back to your post.
• Post the link on their blog on a post.
• When you make your own post, you must create an eleven question questionnaire for the nominees to answer on their blog.

Here are the questions I was asked to answer:

1. What made you want to start a blog?
I think once I realized how much I enjoyed writing is when I decided a blog would be perfect for me. The idea of helping teens with undergoing heart transplant or heart disease was inspired by my friend, Becca. Her blog is always fun to read and the concept of her blog is so original that I wanted to provide a sense of inspiration in my own way.
2. How long have you been blogging for?
May 14, 2011 marks the day I first posted on TeenageHeartTransplant.
3.What is one thing you would change about this world if you could?
I don't think I can thoroughly answer this. Either because it's too complex or offensive (not racist or sexist).
4. Who in your life inspired you or helps motivate you to keep going?
That's easy, my dad. He's like my best friend and I can almost tell him anything. He knows me better than anyone and he can pick me up, brush me off and keep me going strong.  He's taught me good from bad, taught me acceptance, perseverance and keeps me in reality. He knows I'm just a teenager and doesn't constraint grand expectations upon me and is just proud of me for what I have done, what I want to do and will be there for me through my success and failures. Whether it's tying my shoes, reminding me about my med's, giving me a ride to a friend's house or replacing a light bulb I know he'll always be there for me and I don't know what I would do without him.
5. What is one misconception about the topic you write about that you'd like to clear up?
When I first tell someone about my transplant they begin to emit a splurge of questions and I almost always get asked, "When will you die?" or something along those lines. Many people are misunderstood about the lifespan of a transplant recipient. They think just because my heart isn't the heart I was born with immediately decreases my life. I respond by asking them, "When will you die?". Transplanted or not, there isn't much difference. No one knows when their going to die, like everyone else, my heart can't just give out (apart from old age). There has to be a diagnosis to why death has occurred.
6. How has running a blog changed your life?
The biggest change my blog has had on me is the impact it has had on other transplant teens. I find it crazy when someone contacts me just to tell me how much my blog has given them hope. I'm just in my bedroom, on my bed writing about whatever I please and hopefully whatever is going on in my life enthuses my readers to continue reading.

Basically,

7. If someone were to ask you what you hope to accomplish with your blog, what would you tell them?
The biggest goal of mine is for someone waiting for a transplant or someone who has never met another teen with a transplant to come across my blog and feel not so alone, or be able to relate to someone, or be given hope that there is life after transplant. That, and educating the public about organ donation and heart disease.
8. Can you be found on Twitter for your readers to follow?
The best decisions I've made is to erase soda from my diet and delete my Twitter account, so no.
9. What is your favorite color?
I don't know, you tell me?

I think it's green.
10. Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla ice cream? 
Strawberry
11. Pepsi or Coke?
Shirley Temple

My Nominations:

My2ndHeartBeat
2nd chance @ life?
Girlfriend's Guide to Heart Transplants

Continue the Liebster chain guise! I don't even know you and I love you... will you be my master?

 My questionnaire to my nominees:
1. Do you ever participate in fundraisers for your cause?
2. How would you describe yourself in one word?
3. What advice would you give new bloggers?
4. Would you ever consider writing a book?
5. Do you vlog (via Youtube)? If so, what is your Youtube name?
6. How would you describe your blog to someone who hasn't read it before?
7. Is blogging a past time you would like to continue long term?
8. What do you like to do in your free time? Hobbies? Sports?
9. What is your dream job/ occupation?
10. Do you feel like your blog has influenced others?
11. If you could choose one famous person to endorse your blog who would it be?

Not pertaining to the Liebster Award...

I went tanning for the first time since summer and it was amazing! I'm definitely ready for the sunshine and winter to end. Not just because I'm transparently pale but I get sick more often and my acne is 10x worse than in the summer. And I'm just ready for swimsuits, shopping for summer clothes, sunglasses, sleeping in, writing in peace, watermelon season, ice cream, bike rides, camping, boating trips, water parks, golfing and picnics.

Yay for Snapchat!

I'm definitely a sun kissed babe!

My Modeling Dilemma Part 2: Dinosaurs and Unicorns

My dilemma with modeling is figuratively a love-hate concept.

Optimistic outlook on modeling:

A tyrannosaurus rex evolving into a unicorn is metaphorically me trying to become a model. Although I am skinny, tall and photogenic, I am also extinguished in several scars. It's nothing I'm ashamed of, because my dead skin cells represent who I am, what I've conquered and pretty much what I'm all about. My pride and my scars put me at a disadvantage because I don't meet the right "image" criteria. If a dinosaur can transform into a unicorn than that would be pretty impressive just like how someone with an oddity signs a modeling contract for who they are would be even more of an accomplishment; which is why I haven't given up.

[closest thing I could find to a unisaur]

Pessimistic outlook on modeling:

I'm sick and tired of looking in a magazine and seeing the same prototype model over and over. The image of a perfect body and a flawless face has been reused so many times. There's no such thing as perfect and this industry has twisted the idea of beauty turned has it into something nonexistent. This "beauty" overwhelms girls like me feeling like they haven't got a chance or their left feeling ugly. I don't want to model if I'm not accepted for who I am and formulated into another clone.

Get it? Cause it's clones... of evil robots... except one is especially more evil... it's imagery you fools!

 After thinking about what I'm about to jump into more, an idea of brilliance had presented itself...

Let's say I don't find an agency that isn't prejudice and genuinely accepting. It's sad to think there isn't an agency out there that's willing to market someone for their unique qualities, although, I think if I can't find an unorthodox agency I should create one.

"Real World Modeling Agency" (still working on the title) would accept all kinds of individuals interested in modeling with any disadvantage. Whether it's an ostentatious scar, a wheelchair or simply not a size 1! We're the ones with a lowered self esteem, we're the ones who have been told we're not beautiful by someone who can't even define the subject, and we're the ones who are never good enough. I think anyone could model if their really committed but like I said, I'm sick of the same prototype.

We see enough advertisements about hair, makeup and fashion but what about awareness campaigns? Our modeling agency would be thoroughly based off of donations to give these models a chance to achieve something their really passionate about. We would provide the type of model to a non profit organization or foundation, what society should be paying more attention to and care about, at no cost to the client.

Cell phones while driving

Breast Cancer Pink Ribbon

Teen Suicide Prevention

Let's say Donate Life America wants to raise awareness for Heart Month but doesn't have the funds to do so. By contacting us, we provide a model to whatever theme they want to address to little to no cost to them. The model however would still be paid by money donated to our agency and in the end Heart Month would get its publicity.

There are two positive aspects to this idea:
1.) It gives the dinosaurs a chance to become unicorns in the modeling world
2.) It targets subject matter and topics that deserve it's limelight

We'll see how my own modeling career kicks off but if it doesn't, this is something I'm seriously going to consider doing!

Sincerely,

The Unisaur

My Modeling Dilemma

Since sophomore year, I've had a lot of people suggest modeling to me since I'm your typical tall, slender girl. When the idea was new to me I would just deny whatever anybody told me because I didn't think I was exactly modeling material.

Those girls you see walking down the runway are flawless (Regina George flawless, I hear her hair is insured for $10,000) and I wasn't exactly comfortable in my own skin. In the summer between freshman and sophomore year I was sick of being undermined from other girls because I wasn't as pretty, as outgoing or as confident. So I got a new look, chopped off my long hair to my shoulders, learned the basics or makeup, used my savings to buy a new wardrobe and I made a vow to myself to be outgoing and meet new people for the new school year.

 

I'm now that concept called confident and 5.9, 119 lbs, a 25 in.waist and perfectly content as myself. I finally decided to go for it and begin the introduction process with agencies. My first meeting with an agency was last Monday.
After a little intell on the agency I was able to interview with the director. I anticipated some critics but let me tell you, this guy was hypercritical. Basically, he told me I need whiter teeth, a clearer face, I need to dye my hair to one solid color and to make it big my proportions are one inch too big (Preferable a 10 in. difference: 24 in. waist x 34 in. hip when I have a 25 in. waist x 35 in. hip). According to them, I'm 5.8 so I also barely make the height requirements. I'm just thinking to myself, "Okay, it's not like I get my height measured at a cardiology office every three months verifying I'm 5.9 1/2."

He was so incredibly nit picky but nothing he said pissed me off more than when he told me to "cover that up" pertaining to my scar. Reality check,  it's just dead skin cells not an alien probe bulging out of my chest. By the end of the interview, I was ready to crawl in my bed, hide under the covers and cry.

I get it, these are not your standards or your perception on acceptable exposure; it's the clients. However, a scar represents disposition, originality and tells a story, especially a sublimity scar like mine. By telling me to cover up my scar is like telling me to put a paper bag over my head which is pretty much how I feel after individually listing each insecurity of mine.

After that little adventure, my idea of modeling was completely intercepted and I was doubting whether I still wanted to become one if I was just going to be downgraded from here on and not be accepted as something beautiful due to my more unique qualities. Although, I think someone like me as a model would be even more of an accomplishment because I'm not just another flawless face, perfect body clone. I have an oddity that no one else in the industry has because it was disregarded as a flaw and as a whole labeled as flawed. I see my scar as an advantage because I can offer something daring and new. For example, you flip through a magazine and all you see are beautiful, skinny girls and that's all their characterized as. I don't want to be characterized, I want to be a character. Something people will look at and not feel below standards next to this nonexistent beauty. I want to be a model for one purpose; to show people like me that they have a chance in this twisted industry.

My dilemma being, many agencies are like the one I visited so not only will it be difficult just to sign a contract but it will be even more difficult to be offered modeling jobs. I'm not going to give up only after one demeaning agency but after going through all in state agencies, maybe my fate is just to be a med student and so on and so forth from there.

Probably should start on that homework I've been procrastinating on, till next time peaches!

Happy Heart Month!

As everyone knows, February is mostly known for Heart Disease Awareness month. Not Valentine's Day/ Single Awareness Day/ Arizona's Birthday/ Oregon's Birthday whatsoever. More specifically between the 7th to the 14th in February is Congenital Heart Disease week. I wish people were more aware of Congenital Heart Disease and how much it affects us. I'm not disrespecting cancer, because there's no doubt it's an awful, life threatening disease, but I wish the social media put just as much effort to publicizing heart disease than it does to cancer. I'm just saying, when do you ever see commercials or advertisement's raising awareness, stating the facts or broadcasting successful life stories for heart disease or perhaps cystic fibrosis or maybe Alzheimer's. Everyone can agree their all terrible diseases but no one knows the facts. It's like unconsciously leaving us in the dark. So, in honor of CHD week here is the seven day's of CHD Facts:

• Congenital Heart Defects are common and deadly, yet CHD research is grossly under-funded relative to the prevalence of the disease. 
• There are NO cure for any of the congenital heart defects. Only "repairs".
• More than 50% of all children born with CHD will require at least 1 invasive surgery in their lifetime.
• In most cases, scientists do not know what causes the heart to have a defect.
• There is no limit to how many defects a patient can have been born with.
• CHD is the #1 birth defect and kills more people than all of childhood cancers combined.
• Each year over 1,000,000 babies are born worldwide with congenital heart defect. 100,000 of them will not live to see their first birthday.

(credits to Becca, give her some love and check out her blog: http://lifeasachronicallyillteen.blogspot.com/)

Also, because red is the color of Heart Month, I decided to wear red everyday during Congenital Heart Disease week. Being the narcissist I am, I also took pictures everyday (or at least when I remembered) for proof.

Flamin Red Lips

How could one be told to go to school when it's so beautiful outside?

Red Hipster glasses

Chilling in my glad rags :)

Valentine's Day/ Single Awareness Day/ biggest high school popularity contest

Aristotle once said, "Equality consists of the same treatment of similar persons" We're all different thanks to reproduction and each individuals genetic stem but we are all human. We're all apart of this society making us all equal. No one is less important, more significant, matters or favored more. Whether through our words, our acts or our cures; we all deserve to be treated the same.

Don't leave us in the dark, spread the word and raise awareness! Until next time, Happy Heart Month peaches! 

Doctor Who and Martinelli's

While the rest of you are probably out partying it up and getting wasted, I'm staying in for the night. What's a better way to spend New Year's Eve than watching Doctor Who with some Martinelli's and cuddling your pup. Besides, I just got home from a double (lack of)sleep over. I don't think I would be able to survive another night of excitement without passing out before midnight. Before I begin my Doctor Who marathon I thought I would post my New Year's Resolutions before the clock strikes twelve...

2013 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Become a Model: Since my parent's won't allow me to get a real job I decided to give modeling a go. Everyone tell's me I should try modeling because I'm so tall, skinny and photogenic. The only reason I've denied modeling before is because I thought it was ignorant to be judged about what you look like, how much you weigh and if you're accepted as a beautiful person. I don't know if the persistence or if the realization of how much a model get's paid a job changed my mind. Whether this decision heads down the right or wrong path, I will take it as a learning experience. I'm going to create the beginning's of my portfolio next month and hopefully start contacting agencies. 

Volunteer at a Hospice: My EVIT teacher gave out volunteer applications for Hospice to whoever is interested. I think this would be a fantastic experience especially if I'm going to be surrounded by death when working in a hospital in the future. My parent's agree with me so I will turn in my application as soon as the third quarter of school begins and hopefully I'll land myself an interview. This not only benefits my community service hours but I would say not everyone can put Hospice volunteer on their application to colleges, jobs etc. 

Increase my GPA: I'm not quite sure what my GPA is at the moment but I'm predicting medical school's would not find it that impressive. Hopefully after re-taking geometry over the summer and fingers crossed I get mostly A's this year this won't be such a worriment. Don't get me wrong, I'm a wonderful student it's just my many absences and those blasted finals that get me. 

Travel to New York: I have been wanting to go to New York for a few years now. We could have gone this year during Spring Break but we went to Washington D.C. instead because we had someone to stay with and give us rides. As for the Big Apple, my family doesn't have any connections with anybody up there so if we were to travel to New York it would be one expensive trip and probably a birthday or Christmas present. Maybe this Spring Break... 

Compete in Two Figure Skating Competitions: Every time a competition comes around the corner I always delay the paperwork, make up excuses not to do it (usually has something to do with school), and avoid the subject from my parents. I don't plan on skating any further once I begin college so this is my last full year to compete. I guess I'm most terrified of loosing(besides falling on my butt). I know I sound like a sore loser but figure skating is so competitive, sometimes it's not even enjoyable. The girls are wretched and the skating moms are even worse. But come next competition, win or loose, I will go in smiling and confident and out no different.

Varsity Golfer: I'm hoping next year on the golf team will be better because this year wasn't as pleasant as I remembered from the year prior. I lost my skills near the end of the season and I honestly didn't enjoy the girls I was on the team with. I was sort of the loner on the team while everyone else was building their friendship's and drawing heart's on each other vagina's.   

Capture Camp Del Corazon 2013 on Video: Sadly, this is my last year as a camper. I'm already dreading the one year I have to go without camp until I can become a counselor. I don't want to just become a counselor to be able to return to camp, I just love all the kids at CDC. Their all wonderful and the younger kids especially seem to like me. Not only that but I want to be that inspirational counselor to someone like so many counselors are to me. 

Driver's Licence: First, I have to earn my permit. I would probably have it by now if I wasn't so traumatized. I think it was a little more than a month ago I got into a car accident with a friend on the free way. That was my first real accident and I rather not repeat the experience. Of course, I will eventually begin driving but I'm still paranoid someone is going to merge into our car, or rear end us, or we will rear end them or something of that sorts! 

Connect with Heart Transplant Patients: Lately, I have been connecting with a couple awaiting heart transplant patients in California. Whether it's being someone to have social interaction with, or being able to relate to, or just being a positive role model for other cardiac teens. These are perfect examples of how I want to contribute to the heart transplantation community.

I think my goals for 2013 are pretty reasonable. I tried not to set too many irrational goals unlike last year...

Goals for 2012

• Volunteer at PCH(Phoenix Children's Hospital) over the summer
• Save money for Christmas *check*
• Apply for a job at the golf course 
• Create the CDC Mural *check*
• Learn the ukulele *check*
• Blog on a daily basis *check*
• Plan a Sweet 16 with Make-A-Wish *check*
• Driver's License 
• Attend Leakycon 2012 
• Start a bank account for college funds
• Compete in more figure skating competitions

Five out of my eleven goals this year were accomplished and I know I can do better. I'm glad the New Year approached quickly because I'm ready to start fresh. This year definitely had it's down moments. Moving to my mom's house was a big change for me and I recently broke up with my boyfriend which is/was definitely a hard coping process. Don't get me wrong this year wasn't a terrible year and it also had it's up's which would include my Make-A-Wish Sweet Sixteen, my ninth year attending Camp Del Corazon 2012, going to Disneyland with my best buddies over the summer along with our annual father-daughter-camping trip. This year wasn't perfect but it was still a great!

Happy New Year to all you peaches! 

Potter Enough?

When I was waiting for my second heart transplant in seventh grade I developed a few interests with all my spare time. Even though Harry Potter wasn't anything new, I became obsessed with all things HP related before the sixth movie, Half Blood Prince, hit theaters. Since then, Harry Potter has always been a topic that can stir conversation out of me. Even though the series is over, I will always be apart of the HP fandom. The other day I was on Tumblr (only used for Harry Potter purposes) and I found this character questionnaire. I figured why not post it on my blog. Even if you haven't read, watched, or heard about Harry Potter(shame shame) than this is just a way to learn about me but if you love Harry Potter as much as I do, you can steal this and re-post it about yourself.

Harry Potter: Tell us about a scar on your body

The scar I get asked about most frequently is surprisingly not the scar along my chest. I have another scar on my neck from when I was a baby waiting for my first transplant. This scar started as a tiny incision but has  stretched over the years and it has been beaten up through biopsy's which is why I guess it's noticeable.

Hermione Granger: What is your favorite book, how many times have you read it, and why do you love it?

Sorry Hermione, but I hate reading. If I had to list a book it would be any book from the Harry Potter series. I think their all brilliant but I've only read the series once.

Ron Weasley: Something you're afraid of?

Well, there are my pathetic fears like reptiles and clowns. And then there are my deeper fears which include; loving someone and having them walk out of my life (pertaining to friends, boyfriends, or anyone who is dear to me). The second is as simple yet complicated at the same time as third transplant.

Luna Lovegood: One thing that makes you different from everyone else.

I know my third heart already makes me different from everyone else but I would say my ability to embrace my originality is something very few people my age do. Even though I have always been socially awkward, especially in middle school, I never tried to be someone I'm not. Middle school is a corrupting place but it also gave me the opportunity to define myself. I didn't really care who was judging me and I figured I might as well be myself since everyone else is taken.

Fred Weasley: Can you do any magic tricks? What is the best one you can do? If you can't do any, what's the best one you've seen?

Well, in 4th grade I was in a talent show as a magician. My best trick was adding pictures and color to an empty coloring book with a few mystical words. That trick put me as a finalist but I ended up not winning. I was still very satisfied with myself since my class seemed to be in awe even after I left the stage.

George Weasley: What is the best prank you've ever played on someone?

A couple April Fool's ago, I called my mum with jittered, jumbled words of a horror-on-the-streets story going a little something like this:

Mum: Hello?
Me: Mom! I just got jumped!!
Mum: What?!
Me: I was walking home from school and these thugs walked up to me, beat me up, took my backpack, my cellphone (I called her on my home phone, just by the way), kicked me to the ground and ran off!
Mum: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHERE ARE YOU?! I'M CALLING THE POLICE!
Me: WAIT! You know what else is imperative to tell the police!?
Mum: WHAT!?
Me: This is an April Fool's prank...
Mum! OH MY GO -- wait... what? You terrible child you!

Neville Longbottom: Tell us an embarrassing story.

Which one? I guess one story that's not disgusting nor am I proud of is my first kiss. I was so nervous I missed the boys face by a landslide and ended up kissing his chin... Poor guy, no wonder we just stayed friends.

Narcissa Malfoy: Do you have a good relationship with your family? Who are you closest to?

I love my family but I am a total daddy's girl. He is the one I always see sitting next to me in the hospital, he always knows how to cheer me up on my down day's and I can practically tell him everything.

Voldemort: If you were to create a Horcrux, what would it be and why?

If I had to create a Horcrux I would pick something I have self pride in. One of the few things I'm proud of is my first place figure skating medal back in 2008. It's significant to me because it was my first winning competition and it was the last one I competed in before my second transplant.

Bellatrix Lestrange: Have you ever loved someone who could never love you back?

Unless you count fictional character than no. I never enveloped in boy's until I hit high school and even then I'm still very picky about who I date and even more about who I love.

Ginny Weasley: Have you ever been in love with an unexpected person?

Yes, I love my current boyfriend to that emotional point. But I never pictured myself dating him until I was single and ready to mingle and then everything just fell into place.

Hedwig: If you went to Hogwarts, what kind of pet would you bring?

Out of my choices of an owl, a toad or a cat; I would bring a cat. More specifically a Scottish Fold.

I mean c'moooon! Daaaaw :)

Draco Malfoy: Is it better to be feared or to be loved?

Loved. I don't want people to be afraid of me and that's definitely not the impression I give off.

Rubeus Hagrid: What it your favorite mystical creature?

I would choose a Phoenix. Throughout all the creatures in the entire Harry Potter series, Fawkes is my favorite creature. Reborn from his dying ashes, tears with healing powers and just being a general bad ass bird in the Chamber of Secrets are a few of his impressive qualities.

Dolores Umbridge: Make a list of rules that your family (or whoever) would have to follow if you made the rules?

• Give Shelby awesome allowance (not allowance because it's awesome but allowance because Shelby is awesome).
• Let Shelby get a job already!
• Stop giving Shelby crap whenever she doesn't answer her phone.
• Keep the refrigerator fully stocked and not just with condiments.
• Don't have a heart attack whenever Shelby get's a C on her progress report.
• Shelby get's to blare her music. Loud. 
• Hire a chauffeur so Shelby is never late. 

And that's all I can think of... as of right now ;)

Lucius Malfoy: What is your most prized possession?

My memories.

Dobby: Who are you most loyal to?

I would say I'm pretty overall loyal person. I give my boyfriend the highest loyalty, my friends, my family and pretty much everyone I respect.

Sirius Black: Have you ever been accused of doing something you didn't do?

I'm accused of little things like loosing the TV remote...

Argus Filch: What's the worst job you've ever had?

Forever unemployed :(

Dudley Dursley: How many presents do you usually receive on your birthday?

After I stopped believing in Santa (exactly when the economy dropped), I think is when my parents were more decisive on what to get me for Christmas and not just...

And more like...

Peter Pettigrew: Are you a leader or a follower?

I prefer to be a follower but if a leader must be born than I will acquire the position.

Cedric Diggory: Have you ever had a near death experience?

Well there was that one time when I had a heart transplant when I was a baby... another time when there was fluid around my heart... and that other time when I caught "Kennel Cough" and pneumonia .. and not to forget about my second heart transplant, oh there was another time when I had the highest CMV count in America... so, yeah, I would say so ;)

I am Darth Vader.

Albus Dumbledore: What is the greatest obstacle you have ever overcome in your life?

After being released from practically living in the hospital, I think the hardest part is getting back on your feet. After a hospitalization, for any reason, is a bit of an eye opener to really appreciate life. When I get back to reality, school is my first priority and then I slowly return to the ice rink. Since my last hospitalization, I've added golf and different volunteer opportunities such as choreographing for younger kids and helping the elderly. To clearly answer the question, keeping myself motivated to have a hectic, exciting life which is the way I like it.

Minerva McGonagall: What is your favorite spell?

I say Confundus, which is used to confuse your opponent, on a regular basis so I guess that would be my favorite if I must choose.

Severus Snape: Are you a trustworthy person?

Yes, I can't tell a lie without being obvious that I'm lying and you could tell me your deepest, darkest, most shameful secret and I wouldn't hint or say a word to anyone.

Remus Lupin: If you could transform into any animal or creature, which one would it be?

I would probably transform into a llama. Not just because llama's are just so freaking majestic but if I transformed into my favorite animal I think it would be a little bit too conspicuous  Considering you don't see whales waddling down the street everyday...

Uncle Vernon: What is your favorite day of the week?

Saturday.

Arthur Weasley: What do you think is the best "muggle" invention?

We're all thinking it... Where would the world be without indoor plumbing?

Professor Sprout: What is your favorite class that is offered at Hogwarts?

Divination is a topic of fascination.

Nymphadora Tonks: If you could change one thing about your appearance what would it be?

One of a major turn off of mine is a bad mouth. I'm not referring to a bad habit of cussing but literally if you have crooked or yellow teeth, bad breath, or anything pertaining to your mouth I'm just immediately turned off. I know it only says one thing, but I would change two things; my lips and my gums. A medication I took when I was younger caused my lips to crack, especially on the corners. Not only that but a different medication caused my gums to become puffy making my teeth look tiny. So if I could, I would change my lips to look thoroughly smooth and my gums to be less prominent whenever I smile.

Moaning Myrtle: What is something that always makes you cry?

Besides animals dying in movies, I would say my transplant home videos. My family recorded some of the time I spent in the hospital waiting for transplant. Whenever I watch these home videotapes, I always have a tear or two because seeing my condition at its worse is heartbreaking but thank goodness it's in the past.

James Potter: Would you risk your life to save someone you truly love?

Of course.

Lily Potter: What is your eye color?

I wish I had brilliant green eyes like Harry but unfortunately I have brown. Everyone says my eyes have a glossy look to them but all I see is a toxic waste pool.

Professor Trelawney: Have you ever dreamt something was going to happen and then it happened?

My dreams are far too bizarre, random and completely absurd to actually happen in reality.

Mr. Ollivander: What would your wand look like?

According to Pottermore...
Length: 11 3/4 inches
Wood: Elm Wood
Core: Unicorn Hair
Flexibility: Pliant.

Lavender Brown: Who is the last person you texted and have you ever had a crush on them?

Well the last person I texted was my dad to pick me up from skating practice, and I'm not really into incest so, that would be a negative.

Cho Chang: If you were on the Quidditch team, what position would you play?

Not a seeker, I'm not that observant. Not a beater, I'm not that aggressive. Not a keeper, I'm not that coordinated. So I guess I'm left with a chaser which I'm fine with even though I still probably wouldn't be very good at it but hey, it's better than getting hit by a bludger.

Aunt Petunia: What is your favorite flower?

ATTENTION FELLERS: Orchid

Another Great Year Must Come to an End

Day 5 :(

The last morning at camp always feels a bit off. Since there's no morning activities this is the one morning you get to sleep in until the breakfast bell rings. It's not like I don't enjoy sleeping in, usually on the weekend I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing with someone acquiring my presence when it's already past noon, but it's not everyday you can go on a hike or do yoga with your camp buddies. Sleeping in is for ordinary days and any day at camp definitely does not count as "ordinary".

I always do the Sunshine Dance full out (even when I'm not at camp) but it's even more exaggerated and crazy on the last day! As our last breakfast we had breakfast burritos and eggs which I remember was the same meal from the year prior. I loaded my plate with fruit and cereal since I'm allergic to whatever is inside the burritos and being the picky eater I am, I just don't really like eggs... Usually after breakfast we would head back to our cabins to get ready for our next activity, but before we headed back to our cabins to pack instead we did a camp sweep. A camp sweep is when everyone lines up by the dining hall facing the ocean and slowly but surely picks up every piece of garbage so the next session has spiffy looking camp grounds.

Jarred and I at breakfast :)

Emily and my bro Brandon!

My boys Dylan, Alex and Jarred during the sweep :)

The ladies covered the beach from the dock to Frog Rock, Girls Camp leading to the infirmary and Arts & Crafts while the gent's cleaned Boys Camp back towards the High Ropes Course. Cleaning after Art's & Crafts must be a real honor since it was easily the dirtiest... sparkliest and most colorful activity area ever. Once we finished, we went back to our cabins to stuff our luggage with all our clothes smelling like camp and to restore our cabin back in its original order for the Schooner girls in Session 2 and later on Session 3. All my clothes seemed to be scattered about the cabin... the longest part of packing was probably gathering all my stuff since something of mine seemed to be everywhere; in other suitcases, outside the cabin, on the drying rack, in the shelves, under my bunk... everywhere besides the squirrel box, thank goodness!

I was probably the last one to be 100%  packed! As long as my clothes make it back to Arizona in one piece it doesn't really matter how my clothes are packed since I'm practically going to dump my suitcase in the washer once I get home, however I'm a huge perfectionist (one of my more appreciative but annoying qualities) so it matters to me! I rolled and stuffed all my clothes to one side of my suitcase so I had enough room for my toiletries, sleeping bag and pillow which I also have to cram in my luggage. Our med nurse, Miffy, put our medications in our bag before we dropped off our huge Nick & Kelly bags at the boat dock. While we were cleaning our cabin a couple girls from Catboat came in to ask if we needed any help sweeping [heart... melted... from maximum adorableness]. Once we finished cleaning we passed time by signing shirts and taking final cabin pictures until the lunch bell rang.

Schooner with a couple Catboat girls <3

Schooner Cabin <3 You all have a special place in my heart!

The line of signing shirts

I ended up getting a medium CDC shirt since they were all out of smalls. In the end, I'm sort of glad I received a medium because the back of my shirt quickly filled up with loving messages from my cabin friends and counselors. Especially during lunch when I was racing around the dining hall to get signatures from all the other wonderful campers and counselors! We always have a final squirrel before we headed towards the field to wait for the boat to be unloaded of Session 2 campers and their luggage. It's a bit more complicated than a regular squirrel dance... Basically, a line of new counselors form a line from the squirrel box leading to the chosen counselor at the end. All the counselors pass along each item inside the squirrel box which is the amount of time you have to claim your lost item. If you don't claim your item before it is passed to the chosen counselor than that counselor must wear it... somehow. Even though none of my items were lost, I couldn't possibly pass up squirreling one last time before leaving.

"I WIN!"

After our final squirrel, we headed towards the field to sign shirts, once again, and wait for the boat to be unloaded and re-loaded. Between signing shirts and dismissal on to the boat we had a final cabin closing. Favorite part about this year at camp? My favorite part of this year, as usual, was creating stronger friendships with old friends and creating fresh friendship with new friends. Creating friendships at camp is definitely not like meeting new people at school. At school you walk into a class, introduce yourself, start a conversation hoping people will accept you for you. At camp, everyone is already accepting because we have all been-there-done-that in terms of not being accepted. Meeting friends at camp isn't difficult because everyone is so kind, easy going to talk to, understanding and just fun to be around! Some of my strongest friendships are thanks to camp and I'm lucky to have a gateway from everything worrisome in reality to just be normal and treated like an equal.

Our last cabin photo before going on the boat :'(

Waiting for the boat with Emily, Nicole and Tyler

The walk leading to the boat while saying good bye to all the counselors is probably one of the saddest moments of camp, for me at least. High fiving all my favorite counselors for one makes me super jealous knowing they get to stay for another session on the magnificent Catalina Island but I also get really choked up knowing I won't see them for a whole year because their all amazing and I'll miss them. The counselors are still waving goodbye to us when we're on the boat, but that's not all. When you think the counselors are going to walk back to the Dining Hall to greet the next session, they all jump in and continue waving goodbye from the water.

Counselors jumping from the dock

We landed a table of six on the second floor of the boat for the ride back to the main land. I sat with my friends Sammy, Dylan, Alex, Collin, and my boyfriend Jarred. The boat ride just seemed to fly by because before we knew it we were saying our last goodbyes to all the campers and counselors from California at the Catalina Express boat dock. This is probably one of my least favorite parts of camp. I hate saying goodbye to the California campers because I never know if I'll see them again before Camp 2013. As fast paced as Nick & Kelly is trying to load all the Arizona campers on to the buses, there is always time for a couple five minute hugs. I'm definitely going to miss all my California buddies, especially my three Schooner girls from Cali; Kasey, Katelyn and Brianna! <3

Once we loaded on to the buses, Jarred and I relaxed all the way to the airport. Practically falling asleep but managed to stay awake by listening to music (I'm so glad I brought my phone) and we went a little wild taking pictures.

One couldn't ask for a better boyfriend <3

"Practically perfect in every way" 

The heart couple <3

We arrived to the John Wayne Airport and quickly moved through security and back on a plane to the state of ridiculous heat and cactus. I sat between Jarred and my friend Alex and oh... my... goodness... Sitting between these two guys is like sitting next to Bill Murray and Jimmy Fallon... just uncontrollable laughter all the way back to Arizona. I don't think I ever laugh as hard any where else unless I'm with these two fellers. It never really hits me camp is "officially" over until I can see my parents visible faces while coming down the escalator. There was so much commotion around, the tears didn't catch up to me until I was home. I just disregarded my parents because I was too busy saying goodbye to EVERYONE! I said good bye to Jarred by blowing a kiss, even though we'll be seeing each other very soon at parties and Homecoming (pictures to come) and the rest of my Corazon Family! The last person I said good bye to was my nurse practitioner who was a counselor this year for the youngest cabin. She burst into tears when she was trying to describe what a leader I am to my parents.

There is such a difference in my whole attitude and personality when I'm at camp. You don't even have to talk to me to see how happy I am because it just shines through me. I wouldn't label myself as a leader or even anyone with much confidence, but I can definitely say camp has given me enough confidence to live my life the way life should be lived. I have received the gift of life twice and I'm not just going to let that go to waste. I have far too much to live for and no one will bring me down. As Elphaba would say, I'm defying gravity.